The samurai coach and the 3rd International Congress of Coaching Psychology (2013,Rome,16-17 May)

———————————————————————–

The scariest moment is always just before you start.

Stephen King

Lately, I’ve incidentally been noticed though linkedin that it was possible for psychologist or non psychologist coaches to attend as speakers to the 3rd International Congress of Coaching Psychology which will takes place in Rome, next 16-17 may.

This year, the congress will be hosted by SCP Italy (Society for Coaching Psychology Italy), the Italian partner ISCP (International Society for Coaching Psychology).

I never attended such a congress and never had the opportunity to express myself in front of a professional coaches or experts audience.

That’s the reason why I took this notice as a challenging opportunity  to structure my ideas about some of coaching themes I have to deal with day after day in France. This was also an opportunity to take a mental stepback about the skills I had, those I didn’t, the things I knew and thoseI realized I actually didn’t.

I then decided to produce written materials in order to submit three abstracts and take my chance for what could be for me an incredible personal journey and adventure.

I don’t know if my application will be accepted but for me I already won a personal battle for producing these abstracts lead me to   overcome some of my limitations, to kind of put me in danger and to be humble regarding the high-skilled experts that will be attending this big event.

For sure it helped me to realize I maybe still had some steps to take before being the man I wanted to be. I also had to face emotions like fear or shame as I was about to be evaluated and judged and maybe stated as incompetent regarding the committee’s expectations.

Like I said, it was challenging as hell.

Hence, once again, like old samurais did I had to face myself and overcome myself as my worst enemy ever so to get to a higher level in my personal and professional life.

Moreover, producing the requested abstracts for application was a genuine chance to transform, to knead and to merge all the things I had learnt through the coaching sessions I had  lead, through the books I had read, the conferences I had attended, the books I had written  and the skills I still had to get so to improve myself, into something that could be presented on stage through short keynote sessions.

Eventually I enjoyed the pleasure to take a risk and to be in a sort of survival state of mind in which anyone can feel like they have nothing to lose.

The committee’s decision will be known before the end of March.

I’m looking forward to knowing the committee’s decision but anyhow, accepted or not, having submitted these abstracts has already changed me for a lifetime and nothing won’t ever be the same since now.

Here are the three abstracts I submitted.

Enjoy.

——————-

Abstract 1 : Are emotional exhaustion and burnout syndrom simple consequences of the nowadays accelerating rythm of life, or are they just the revealor of personal emotional limitations ?

Objectives:

The aim of this paper is to discuss the fact that coachees’ profesionnal crisis can be the revealor of personal intimate issues the coach will have to deal with.

Content:

Since bearings such as church, family, politics have disappeared for a lot of people, job seems to remain the main source of fulfillment. When job is under attack, employees have to face some purpose void issues. As the strictly motivational and professional exploration coaching field can become irrelevant, a psychological exploring angle can help coachees to see themselves as more than sole employees, to learn how to balance all parts of their selves and to avoid familiar toxic situations they relentlessly dive into.

Methods:

Coaching sessions were lead for top managers financial attorneys who were victim of burnout syndrom. Coachees were helped to think about themselves not only as employee and to clarify other parts of their self. They also were accompanied to classifiy and emotionally weigh their sources of fullfilment. Eventually, they had to identify and go to face unpleasant personal situations from their past that could be similar to current ones.

Results:

When the coaching process started, the vision coachees had from themselves wasn’t large enough, they always were trying to please figures of authority and were nurturing some unpleasant relationships with toxic people so to stay connected to the childish part of themselves. Eventually, because they’d got rid of toxic and abusive patterns, they were able to take they grown-up place and see their job through a larger perspective.

Conclusion:

A professional crisis can reveal high emotional and personal limitations and can be a genuine opportunity to the coachees to redefine the paradygm of their lives. Coaches can help them to recall who they were, who they are and not to reproduce relentlessly toxic relational patterns.

——————-

Abstract 2 : Legitimacy and recognition at work : why employees have to see their post as an empty shell they will have to fill in by themselves.

Objective:

This paper discusses the fact that most services business’ employees aren’t able to give themselves self-recognition and are looking for an idealized professional legitimacy through degrees, promotions or exams. Consequences observed in the long term are harsh motivational issues and unavoidable conflicts.

Content:

The rationale for this paper is based on the idea that the best recognition anyone can get is self recognition while true legitimacy is always given by people we work with. Unfortunately it’s often the contrary that can be observed.

Methods:

The coaching context was about french public servants who were trying to get a great deal of recognition and to improve their legitimacy at work through managers exams. To increase self-recognition, they first had to identify their personal achievements apart from any possible success at exams. Therefore they had to work on the responsabilities they will undertake through strong professional commitment : the purpose was to help them to get the legitimacy they were waiting for through their manager standing attitude and not through a degree or a professional label.

Results:

The hardest part of the process was to lead coachees to see words such as ‘engineers’, ‘headmasters’ or ‘managers’ as empty shells. The positive results were then observed when the coachees started to fill in this shells with meaningfull actions. Eventually, coachees were able to see their success as something they could build in the long term as a sequence of actions that will help them to be appreciated by their peers for their values and commitment.

Conclusion:

‘What you’ll put in, you’ll get out ‘ seems to be a still up-to-date proverb at work. Employees have to find purpose at work through what they will build and actions they’ll take. The label put on their office’s door isn’t enough anymore.

 

——————-

Abstract 3 : A modern history of psychological violence : do manipulator’s victims want to be manipulated ?

Objective:

The purpose of this paper is to discuss the fact that manipulation appears not only because of a manipulator but also because of a specific context including a victim that dives into manipulation.

Content:

The rationale is based on the idea that part of our ability to protect ourselves from manipulation lies in the way we’ll be able to say no, to accept our past but not reproduce it anymore and to consciously avoid manipulative people before they start to harass us.

Methods:

The coaching process’ main purpose was to identify for which of the three following causes people weren’t able to say no : fear of being abandoned, a person in demand, guilt. The coachees had to pinpoint if they ever had to face such kind of situation in their own personal history. Once identified the original toxic situation, coachees had to dissociate the current context from previous personal ones. The goal was to cut the link with the past so to make able to avoid being compelled by such situations.

Results:

People often weren’t able to clearly say no to simple requests because they wanted to be seen as good colleagues who wanted to help others. They were responsible passionate and overcommitted people. They were forgotting themselves into manipulative situations because firstly, they were going back to the replication of some educational authoritative abusive patterns; seconly they wouldn’t believe in perversity and manipulation.

Conclusion:

Manipulation comes from the need to control and the fear to lose it. The more people will be able to refuse control by saying no, even to simple verbal agression, the more will they avoid manipulation and psychological harassment. To do so they will have to step forward and not maintain links with abusive situations they’d lived and that define them.